I loved it. Actually, I grew to love it. At age fifteen, a freshman in high school, I was invited to a house party. My circle of friends had already been smoking, some since the 8th grade. Three of my girlfriends invited me to take a walk. Their cigarettes of choice were “Marb Reds”. As I came to learn, it didn’t get much stronger than that. We laughed and stumbled our way down the driveway, Corona and Bud Light in hand. It was not in my plan to smoke that night, I had a great fear associated with it. There were many smokers in my family, my Mom had died from Cancer, and I was quite aware of the negative effects and control it had over my family members. As we made our way to the end of the driveway I was about to encounter my first experience with peer pressure and substances. “Just try it, it’s not that bad, if you don’t like it, don’t do it again!” These were the voices of my oh-so-happy ie: drunk, “popular” friends, who I felt semi-excluded from each time I followed my conscience. So, I gave in. What did I have to lose besides the potential unacceptance of girls I trusted and idolized? I sat on the curb, took a drag and began coughing up a storm. I hated it. They were all laughing. I thought to myself, that was terrible, awful, disgusting and I will never try it again! As the coughing ceased I noticed I was beginning to feel light headed, serene and almost euphoric. That feeling kept growing and I sat in enjoyment of the “buzz” for awhile. By the time they lit a second cigarette I was ready to give it another try. This time I didn’t cough, the beer helped mask the taste, and I was a fan of this new feeling I had been missing out on. Shorty after, cigarretes became one of my closest allies. They calmed and sorted out any emotion or drama I encountered and brought me peace of mind morning, noon and night. Let’s not forget the added bonus of becoming more socially accepted among my peers. Finally, I had something I could use that would “help” me get through anything in life….at least for an hour or so at a time. As time went on, that “feeling” lessened and I found the need to continue increasing the amount of cigarettes I smoked in a day. By the time my 20’s emerged I was up to a pack every 2-3 days. Regardless of the commercials, adds, and information I was bombarded with, that feeling was worth the consequences and reprocusions-even death. On an unconscious level I’m sure I wanted to die. The feelings I kept suppressing were slowly killing me anyways, why not speed up the process?
Fast forward to 2009, age 28, planning a wedding with a man I wasn’t truly in love with but who offered me the “dream” life everyone was hoping for. The house, money, cars, kids, travel, marriage…you know, the indoctrinated goals that most of society seemed to be after. However miserable we were making each other, it was the “right” time in our lives to settle down and take the traditional steps to do just that. Living together, joint bank accounts, researching homes to buy, and ready to walk down the aisle in six months. We spent most of our relationship trying to change one another, isn’t that how people do relationships? I was smoking more than ever before in attempt to numb the anxiety, confusion and unhappiness to the point they began replacing food. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted this life to disappear, and I was the one who was disappearing. We broke off our engagement and I was down to 109 lbs.. My once curvy, 5’2 body was now fragile and bony. I needed a change and I needed it fast.
I hadn’t planned to quit smoking on my first Avatar course. Within the first several days I learned tools to create my new reality and “magically poof” and limitation, belief, fear etc. sustaining my old reality. By the time I was ready to create my new goals and intentions I was feeling the best I had ever felt. I had a newfound desire to experience being happy, healthy and whole. This new desire did not fit into a smokers lifestyle. I was encouraged by my Avatar Master to really handle that whole area by using the tools and seeing what happens. I was skeptical but willing to try. It must have taken less than ten minutes. If you have taken Avatar, you know that you can move through any life creation in minutes that may have previously taken weeks, months, years or lifetimes. I felt so incredibly free, happy and alive. I stepped outside to enjoy this new experience and I encountered a circle of smokers. I had a whole conversation with them without a single desire to smoke. There was no longer any urge, need or temptation within me. That person was gone and I was now the person I had hoped to be. When I returned home, I hired a health coach to help align my eating habits with this new lifestyle I was now ready to embrace. I have never looked back. The tools handled what I had attempted to get rid of for 13 years in less than 10 minutes. This was one of my first of thousands of miracles I have experienced using the Avatar tools. Unknowingly, this was also the beginning of my passion to help others achieve healthy, holistic living. If there is anything holding you back from being the healthiest, brightest version of yourself in any area of your life, know that these tools are the best possible place for you to start <3.
*The postings on this site are my own and do not represent Stars Edge Internationals positions, strategies or opinions.
Personal development leader, holistic healthcare advocate, beauty artisan, intuitive guide and writer. Karen shares her knowledge and personal journey in hopes that changing even one life will lead to creating a better world today.